I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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