I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
