google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
