Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
