You're so nebulous sometimes
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
