if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They have beer where we have blood.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
