the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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