You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize