bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just invented taco cereal.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
