hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Terrible idea I love it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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