physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize