He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
