Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
