her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
