My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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