final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
