Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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