HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
