He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
