I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
