Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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