So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
