Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
