I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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