I am puke
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
