Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
