walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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