If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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