Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
