You're so nebulous sometimes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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