I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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