weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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