p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
