So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize