She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
