it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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