I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He did a backflip because drugs
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
