$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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