No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
