I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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