Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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