you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
