yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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