Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
