dude i'm inner monologue high
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
