Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize