Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize