Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
