and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
