Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
