my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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