Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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