you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
