if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
