Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
