before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
