we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
