We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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