he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
