I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
