i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize